In chapter 2, we mainly focus on stress. Stress can have a great impact on carers, and often carers find themselves neglecting some of their own needs whilst caring for a loved one. Alongside watching the videos, we would encourage you to complete the exercises in chapter 2 to consider how you may be able to reduce some of your stress and attend to your own needs. There is also information and links about formal carers support that could be available to you.
Watch the introduction to Self-care.
Then click on the sections below to open them.
We want to find a balance between our demands and our coping strategies – we might not be able to stop the water filling our bucket, but we can find ways to let enough water out of the tap, so we don’t overflow.
We encourage you to draw out your own stress bucket to see what is filling your bucket currently and if there are any coping strategies you are using currently to help let some water out?
You can use a variety of techniques to manage feelings of stress. We outline a few for you to consider in the rest of this chapter.
Meeting your basic needs
Making sure we are eating well, staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, exercise. When we are stress, these things can easily slip so it is important to notice and do what we can to get them back on track.
When we haven’t eaten or slept properly, emotion regulation can become more difficult, and we may become more sensitive to stress. Exercise can help to release endorphins and use up stress hormones like adrenaline.
Think about your own basic needs - What gets in the way of these things for you? Challenge yourself to making one small change over the next week to look after yourself.
Relaxation is one method of looking after yourself. There are lots of different types, explore some of these below to see if they help you feel more relaxed. Some are longer than others and some use images, others focus on breathing.
Soothing Rhythm Breathing:
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Soothing Rhythm Breathing:
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Box breathing:
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Progressive Muscle Relaxation:
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Safe Place Imagery:
Finding balance
In life, our general functioning is better when we have multiple areas (or pillars) supporting us. Consider the areas below and which ones you may need to invest in to become more balanced.
- Contribution – the giving of your personal ability and talents in some way, such as working for social causes or charities.
- Hobbies/leisure – Recreation or unstructured time; activities that allow you to use your creativity.
- Exercise
- Family
- Time by myself
- Personal growth – activities that allow and encourage growth in understanding of yourself to help you to reach your potential. For different people it may mean anything from reading and taking classes to attending lectures.
- Work
- Primary relationship – a spouse, relative or close friend who knows you well.
- Friends – a social life.
These pillars will look different for everyone, e.g., our social lives/exercise/hobbies might look very different. For some of us it might not be possible to have all 9 of these pillars for reasons beyond our control – what is important is that we strengthen the pillars that we can have.
- What are you pillars looking like at the moment?
- What do you prioritise?
- What is important to you?
- Which ones might need attention?
- How might you start to approach this?
Build your support network
Research shows that having a good support network can help to build resilience and make stress easier to manage.
Who is in your support network?
Formal support for carers
Carer’s Assessment
If you care for someone, you can have an assessment to see what might help to make your life easier. It is free and anyone over 18 can ask for one. Someone from the council or an organisation the council works with, will ask how you are coping with caring (how it affects your physical & mental health, work, free time and relationships).
Carer's assessment | Health and social care | Hampshire County Council
Carer's assessments - Social care and support guide - NHS
Carers' social care rights - Mind
Financial support
You may be able to get money to help you, such as carer’s allowance and/or Universal Credit (though this will vary depending on a person’s circumstances).
The person you care for may be entitled to benefits.
Other organisations
Help For Carers | Comprehensive Support from Carers Trust
Guides for carers of people living with mental illness
Psychological support
NHS talking therapies for anxiety and depression - NHS
Sometimes carers find that their loved one acts in a way towards them that is physically, emotionally, verbally or financially abusive. If this is the case, you can access support from Stop Domestic Abuse
Phone number: 0330 0533 630