Understanding trauma

Feeling anxious or on high alert after a sexual assault is very common. Although trauma affects every person differently, anxiety might feel like:

• A racing heart.
• Sweating or feeling shaky.
• Tightness in your chest or trouble breathing.
• A sense of panic or dread.
• Fear of speaking or being around other people.
• Feeling like something bad is going to happen.

You might also feel jumpy, find it hard to trust people, or notice that certain places, smells, sounds, or situations remind you of what happened and make you feel unsafe. These are often referred to as ‘’triggers’’. Overtime you may begin to understand what your triggers are and may be able to begin considering how to manage and controls these events and situations.

These reactions are your body’s way of trying to protect you - even if there is no danger right now.

What can help:

• Try to notice what is triggering your anxiety - this could be a thought, a memory, or something in your environment.
• Take slow, deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Try doing this for a few minutes and noticing each breath.
• Listening to calming music, wrapping yourself in a blanket, or focusing on a comforting object can also help soothe your body and mind.
• If your anxiety becomes too much or does not go away, your GP or advice from Treetops SARC can help you connect with support services that are available to you in your local area. 

Try grounding techniques to bring yourself back to the present moment. A simple method of breathing and counting is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique:

• 5 things you can see.
• 4 things you can feel.
• 3 things you can hear.
• 2 things you can smell.
• 1 thing you can taste.

Remember, no matter how difficult the emotion feels, you are not broken - You are responding to trauma!
If you are feeling overwhelmed, confused, or not like yourself, it may help you to remember you are having a normal response to an abnormal and traumatic event.

These emotional and physical reactions are your mind and body’s way of trying to cope and keep you safe.
You are not overreacting. You are not weak. And there is nothing wrong with you.

Healing after trauma can take time, and it does not always move in a straight line. Post traumatic growth is different for everyone. That’s normal. Be gentle with yourself - you are doing the best you can, and that is enough.

It is common to have nightmares after a traumatic event. These might replay what happened or bring up other frightening or confusing images. You might wake up feeling anxious, panicked, or exhausted.

Sometimes, people try to avoid sleeping because they are afraid of having nightmares. But poor sleep can increase feelings of low mood, irritability, and anxiety. Your health and emotional recovery may take time and having sleep and rest are important during this process. Take naps and try gentle sleeping aids like baths, warm drinks to help you get as much rest as your body needs. 

What can help:

• Try to keep a gentle bedtime routine. Wind down with calming activities like a warm bath, soft music, or reading.
• Avoid caffeine or screens before bed if possible.
• If you wake up and cannot fall back asleep, get up and do something quiet and relaxing - like reading or stretching - until you feel sleepy again.
• Try not to blame yourself or force your mind to “make sense” of everything before sleep. Your body needs rest, even if your mind is still processing.
• If sleep problems continue, it’s okay to seek support - there are people who can help.

Flashbacks are vivid memories or sensations that make it feel like the assault is happening all over again. They can come suddenly and be very upsetting. Flashbacks are your brain’s way of trying to process what happened, but they can feel scary and out of your control.

What can help:

• Remind yourself: You are safe now. This is a memory and not something happening again in the here and now. 
• Look around you - notice where you are. Try touching something solid (like the floor, a cushion or a chair) or holding onto a comforting item to ground yourself.
• Try to gently bring your focus to the present moment. You could say to yourself: “I am safe now. That moment has passed. I am here, not there.”
• If flashbacks happen often or feel too intense, talking to a professional may help you find ways to manage them and feel more in control. Treetops SARC can help connect you to services available to you in your local area. 

Guilt and shame are very common responses after a sexual assault. You might feel a deep sense of discomfort about what happened or find yourself questioning your actions, decisions, or reactions -remember, none of this was your fault!

These feelings often come from trying to make sense of something traumatic and out of your control. Survivors and people who have experienced rape and sexual assaults sometimes internalise responsibility as a way to understand the event, but you are not to blame!

Sexual assault is always the fault of the person who chose to harm you. No matter what you were wearing, where you were, how you responded, or whether you froze - you did not cause this!

What can help:

• Speak kindly to yourself. Try using gentle reminders like: “I did the best I could with what I knew and felt at the time.”
• When guilt or shame shows up, try to meet those feelings with curiosity instead of judgement: “Why am I feeling this way?” rather than “What’s wrong with me?”
• Journaling or creative expression can help release some of the weight of unspoken emotions. Write down how you feel. 
• Reach out for support. Talking with someone you trust, a trained professional or calling a helpline. You do not have to carry this alone.

Feeling angry after a sexual assault is also completely normal. You might feel angry at the person who harmed you, at the world, at people close to you - or even at yourself. If anger feels unfamiliar or intense, it can be scary or confusing.

Sometimes anger covers deeper feelings like grief, hurt, or fear. Suppressing it can lead to it building up and coming out in ways we do not intend.

What can help:

• If you're noticing that you’re feeling agree, give your anger a safe outlet. Try writing it down, going for a walk, or doing a physical activity like punching a pillow or tearing up paper.
• Talk it through with someone who will listen without judgement.
• Practice grounding techniques or calming activities - breathing exercises, art, music, or spending time in nature.
• Remind yourself: “It is okay to feel angry. It makes sense.” You are not doing anything wrong by having this emotion.

If anger is becoming difficult to manage or affecting your relationships, it is okay to ask for help. You do not have to manage it alone. Treetops SARC can offer you advice on support service available to you in your local area. 

Many people feel low, withdrawn, or hopeless after a sexual assault. You might:

• Feel disconnected from others.
• Lose interest in things you once enjoyed.
• Struggle to see a future for yourself.
• Feel numb or overwhelmed.
• Cry often - or feel like you can’t cry at all.

These feelings are normal. These reactions are not a sign of weakness. They are a response to the pain and loss that trauma can bring.

You may be grieving - not just about the assault itself, but what it has taken from you. Your sense of safety, control, or peace may feel shaken.

What can help:

• Talk to someone - a trusted friend, a support worker or by calling Treetops SARC
• Focus on small steps: a short walk outside, a comforting activity, or speaking to someone, even for a few minutes.
• Try to gently remind yourself of reasons to keep going - even if they feel small or far away.
• You can recover and support is available.

If you ever feel like you might hurt yourself or don’t feel safe, it’s important to know what you should do to access support:

• If I’m you're in immediate danger or have plans to harm yourself, call 999 immediately.
• Go to A&E or contact your GP.
• You can also contact a crisis service like Samaritans (116 123) - available 24/7.