1. Listen and believe them
Let them talk if they want to - and let silence be okay too. Avoid asking lots of questions or pressing for details. Simply saying “I believe you. I’m here for you.” can be powerful.
2. Reassure them it’s not their fault
Remind them gently: “You didn’t deserve this. It’s not your fault.”
3. Give them control
After an assault, it’s common to feel powerless. Help them regain control by letting them make choices - whether that’s about seeking support, what to talk about, or even simple everyday decisions.
4. Respect their pace
Try not to rush them or expect them to “move on.” Everyone heals differently, and it’s okay if things take time.
5. Take care of yourself too
Supporting someone through trauma can be emotionally exhausting. It’s okay to seek support for yourself - through a trusted friend, professional, or support service. You matter too.
6. Encourage support - but don’t force it
Let them know what help is available (like Treetops SARC, counselling, or sexual health services), but don’t pressure them. Just knowing the options are there can be enough.
Helpful things you can say
- “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”
- “Thank you for telling me.”
- “I’m here, whenever you’re ready.”
- “You’re not alone - we’ll get through this together.”
Things to avoid saying
- “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
- “You should have…”
- “Try not to think about it.”
- Anything that blames or questions their actions
Even well-meaning words can feel harmful when someone is hurting. Focus on care, not fixing.